Who does not like sex leading up to the tension release for some of us achieved by fifty shades of grey but when does it go beyond and on the border of anger management issues and sadism which is a crime? A friend of mine posted last week on facebook meme saying ‘Fifty shades of grey is romantic only because the guy is billionaire. If he was living in a trailer it would be a criminal mind episode’, which is confusing. I defend my rationale by firstly defining fifty shades of grey and sadism, I will discuss the key differences between the two sexual behaviours and emphasise what sexual behaviour would be a crime and a clear sign of anger management issues.
IS BDSM A CRIMINAL OFFENCE?
Fifty Shades of Grey is a British erotic romance (James, 2011) and an American film released in 2015. The story is about man and a woman that fall in love and practice BDSM. BDSM is a sexual behaviour and the acronym stands for body discipline sadomasochism, sadism involving infliction of pain on another person to achieve sexual excitement and masochism, a sexual arousal from being hurt or humiliated (Masters and Johnston, 1982). Sadism is derived from Marquis de Sade who wrote about brutality as a means of sexual gratification and masochism originates from Leopold Baron von Sacher-Masoch who wrote about the sexual pleasure from being hurt or humiliated. The BDSM ranges from conversation control, keeping a partner as a slave at home, moulding partner into an owned partner, giving sexual orders, following a domestic rules, brainwashing techniques, shaming and ridiculing, black-white thinking choices to eliminate critical thinking to severe corporal punishment, extreme use of the body with sex toys and the list continues (Alexander, 2014). The sexual behaviour of BSDM is a spitting image of the definition of domestic violence in the UK which is a crime under Domestic Violence, Crime and Victims Act 2004 but what makes BDSM lawful is that it is consensual. Alexander (2014) stresses out that BDSM lovers ‘should never forget that ‘no’ always means no, that rape and physical assault are crimes and that trust is important including rules about how far the BDSM goes and the couple must mutually agree on this at the start of the relationship.
WHAT MAKES SADISM ANGER MANAGEMENT ISSUE THAT IS A CRIME?
Sadism differentiates from BDSM in that it is a serious crime, committed by a person with violent anger management issues deriving sexual gratification from torture and execution. Thompson (1994) presents seven features that distinguishes sadists from BDSM devotees:
- abducting and torturing unwilling partners for period of twenty-four hours to six weeks
- forced sex
- sadist is lacking emotions throughout the torture and execution
- all sadists torture their victims, inflicting serious and permanent injury
- popular choice of execution is strangulation
- previous convictions of sexual assaults or incest
- remains fixed exclusively on sadistic sexual behaviours
Thompson (1984) emphasises that sadists are rare, thirty cases were identified between 1984 – 1989, and explains that sadists score high on anger management issues and violence as conflict resolution strategy, they lack empathy and are excited about danger. Thompson (1984) warns practitioners working with clients exhibiting anger management issues and obsessions with dangerous sexual behaviours and violent sexual fantasies to acknowledge such issues instead of trivialising.