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Article by Leona Sears September 30, 2016

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children are victims of domestic violence or will suffer in silence

Domestic violence that involves the use of highly aggressive behaviour, physical or emotional, is a serious issue that can leave both the perpetrator and the target feeling destroyed and traumatized, and the aftermath can be devastating and can destroy the whole family and therefore it deserves our attention with regards to anger management. Domestic violence is essentially violent or highly aggressive behaviour carried out in the context of home and it is carried out in any kind of form such as emotional, physical, psychological or financial.

The report on violence and crime reported that there were 2.0 million targets of domestic violence in 2011 and 2012 (Office for National Statistics, 2013). This survey indicated that around 7% of women and 5% of men were victims of domestic violence and this corresponds to 1.2 million women and 800,000 men and women were more likely to be targets of sexual attack. It is important to highlight that domestic violence does not involve only violence in couples but also violence carried by acquaintances or by friends and you can read my articles ‘Some Insights About Abusive Outburst of Anger in Friendships’ and what happens in anger management therapy ‘Relationship Counselling Accompanied by Anger Management’ on page Anger Aggression Management on this site. The Office for National Statistics (2013) provided data showing that 39% of homicide cases against men in relation to domestic violence were carried out by friends or acquaintances and 51% of homicide cases against women were carried out by a partner or ex-partner.

As you can see the data from research on domestic violence or domestic abuse is alarming and it is heartbreaking to see that so many lives, relationships, and families could have been saved and kept together, had the perpetrators recognized the need for anger management, had the victims or targets sought help for acquisition of conflict resolution skills, or had the bystanders or other family advised them accordingly. From my clinical experience, I observed in my private practice, different types of domestic abuse with regards to frequency and the form. Domestic abuse in actual fact happens because both the perpetrator and the victim do not know how to contain the highly volatile situation at home and the referee is absent. In this regard, the perpetrator who is highly aggressive needs anger management, and the victim needs to acquire good conflict resolution skills, firm anger management skills in order to help the other partner whose anger is ignitable and very good communications skills in order to persuade the highly aggressive partner to go for anger management or relationship counselling. To put it briefly, domestic abuse can be co-created and this is because we cannot stop our own anger or we don’t know how to support someone with outbursts of anger. Whether the highly abusive outbursts of anger involve situations during which the conflict gets out of hand and could be unintentional or whether it involves domestic abuse that is deliberate both of these types of abusive anger or violence are good candidates for anger management. Still, one of the most volatile and destructive type of domestic abuse I observed in my private practice, is domestic abuse in which both partners are highly violent and abusive relationships in which one of the two partners forcefully secretly or openly resists to the control of the other perpetrator.

The most common outcomes of the domestic violence are overwhelming and it varies from onset of a number of different anxiety disorders, depressions, loss of confidence, psychosomatic issues and this would also include the children who might not be directly involved in the violence but view it and who will suffer in silence to detention in the custody, unnecessary criminal record, separation and costly divorce that could be lifetime damaging the whole family. Having said that, it does not have to end like this and the relationship or the integrity of the family can be saved providing that the perpetrator, the victim or the couple will consider booking for anger management session to solve this out.

This article provided the statistics on domestic violence and it briefly explained the types of domestic violence, the aftermath of domestic violence and the advantages of undergoing anger management and I hope that it will motivate you to try to resolve your situation and to prevent a potential further damage to your family and you, to schedule an appointment call or text 07 505 124 933.