Introduction
I have always assumed that misandrists and misogynists had anger management issues, and there are plenty of them on online dating sites. Their anger management issues, insulting language, and other abusive online dating behaviours easily identify them. I know you are frustrated with online dating and may even have anger management issues, but since you are here, unlike misandrists and misogynists, you haven’t given up on finding love. Not resolving what makes you unsuccessful on online dating may exacerbate your despair and anger management issues, driving you closer to the 12-27% of lonely resentful, bitter misogynists, and misandrists, allowing an opportunity to meet the one to slip through your fingers. Before you give up on love and become one of the 12-27% of bitter and angry misogynists (YouGov, 2023) and misandrists (data not available), consider the following potential dating obstacles and test them to see if avoiding them will improve your dating success. We all know that ‘love gives us the will to live‘ (Leona Sears, 2010) and it makes us overall healthier and prosperous (Ermisch and Francesconi, 2000). For example single males between the age of 20 – 60 compared to males in relationships, had the highest age-standardised mortality rate (OSN, 2022). So, given that being single is associated with a higher mortality rate, why not try to consider the thirteen points below to improve your online dating and join the 90% of happy couples out there (Ermisch and Francesconi, 2000) ?
1) Dead End Convo
A dead-end convo is a type of conversation that goes something like this: ‘How are you doing? You: I’m fine. What is your given name? You: Peter. Where do you call home? You: I live in Slough. How are things going with your dating life? You: Good’. If you communicate in this manner, you are allowing the other person to row the boat while you sit there like a clueless and nervous interviewee at your first job interview. Unless you want to be interviewed on online dating and are not looking for love, continue in this manner, but if you want to get a date, stop because this is not how you court people. It will lead nowhere, leaving the interviewer unimpressed and exhausted as they row the boat alone. Engaging in a dead end conversation style will not get you any dates and will leave you frustrated with anger management issues. You are welcome to prove me wrong. These anger management issues are caused by your poor conversation skills rather than your match dates or the terrible online dating. So, instead of only answering and draining people, try having a proper conversation, and if you don’t know how, go to counselling and learn how.
2) Your Images Were Binned To The Swipe Left Category
You don’t have to look like Brad Pitt to take good photos, but shooting from unusual angles can make you appear heavier and with a large chin. Similarly, limiting your profile photos to just posing in the loo is unappealing, smelly and a big turn off! A variety of photos and contexts will give potential matches a more complete picture of your exciting life, that is if have one beyond the loo images. Try not to pose half naked on the bed unless you look like Brad Pitt. You don’t look glamorous, especially since you haven’t been to the gym in a long time. To create the beauty we see on the covers of glossy magazines, an army of make-up artists, stylists, and photoshoppers work together to create the captivating alluring artistic boudoir images. You are not that without this extra assistance, and let’s face it, you look more like a washed up whale on a Cornwall beach, and people will swipe left.
3) Still Figuring It Out
What did you do? You’re in your late 30s or older, and you are still choosing the relationship option ‘figuring it out’? Don’t you realise this is an app trap designed to weed out those who require counselling because they are confused and still trying to figure it out? What are you looking for, a therapist to help you figure it out or a partner?
4) My Children Are The Most Important Things in My Life
Everyone knows that children are adorable and must be prioritised at certain times. You’re looking for a partner, making a connection, and yet you are already making your potential date feel like a fifth wheel. How are you supposed to connect with someone if your online dating profile emphasises that ‘my children are the most important things in my life’? Doesn’t that sound very inclusive? Don’t you know that married couples who are preoccupied with the most important thing in their lives – their children – end up losing connection? Neglecting romance and connection in favour of transactional relationships centred on housekeeping and child care is what drives people apart. But you want to entice someone to come to you with that story. I see. That’s not sexy! And, as beautiful as the story is, please refrain from discussing on your dates the latest Finding Nemo, you saw with your son last night. Develop interests aside from spending time with your children; have something interesting to talk about and connect over, aside from the care for your children, which will have nothing to do with your date in the early days of courtship. Develop some hobbies or interests if you didn’t have any before your children became the centre of your universe.
5) Liar, Liar
Talk is cheap, but actions are costly. You lie about your photographs, occupation, and relationship status because you are ashamed of your situation. Strong men build things, while weak men destroy them, and since you are drowning inside in the pool of your lies, you are unable to build anything substantial other than your lies. It’s obvious that you have deep-seated self-hatred and anger management issues, but that doesn’t excuse you from controlling other people’s lives with your lies. Fortunately, after 28 years of learning the ins and outs of online dating, lying has never been more difficult or entertaining to watch. So, who is the loser and who is the winner? If you don’t want your lies to be the subject of peoples’ coffee shop conversations, why don’t you try for a change to stop lying and only then you can begin truly living.
6) Incels, Misandrists and Misogynists
You despise the opposite sex and are cruel to innocent people on online dating sites. You insult people and set nasty test traps to prove to yourself that you are correct and justified in your hatred for them. Given that 12–27% of men hold misogynistic views (YouGov, 2023) and that the age-standardized mortality rate for single men between the ages of 20 and 60 is highest (OSN, 2022), you know that your time is running out and that anger management counselling is the only way out of this maze of suffering. Because of your obsession with your anger management problems, which cloud your perception of reality, you already know what your fate is. You can’t tell the difference between good and bad people, so you tend to engage in frequent attacks, pushing people away, feeling even more alone and hateful and mentally and physically weakened and with a medically unhealthy heart (Sparrow et al, 1996).
7) Passive Aggressive
Passive aggressive is the polar opposite of aggressive, but it is still an issue of anger management and the source of many arguments in intimate relationships. If you find it difficult to express what you require, you are passive aggressive, and you will struggle with anger management issues for a variety of reasons. Passive aggressive people are obvious on online dating sites due to their inability to express exactly what they want. They keep beating around the bush, unable to articulate what they want, waiting and manipulating the other person into making the decision. A confident and experienced person will easily detect this behaviour and will run for the hills, whereas you should expect low interest and success in the dating scene, as well as short-lived or problematic relationships. Too afraid to express yourself, playing the people-pleaser, and always feeling empty, lonely and angry in relationships? You have anger management issues and would benefit greatly from anger management counselling.
8) Unresolved Ex Business
You have an ex who has anger management issues, you don’t know how to protect yourself, and you let your ex harass you and your new partner, destroying your new relationship. You have unresolved anger management issues from previous failed relationships that are affecting your interactions with prospective dates. You are unconsciously jeopardising your chances of meeting and keeping the one. You are so angry with your ex that you transition from being an overly dedicated partner to a vindictive women or men hater, making innocent prospective partners pay for your ex-partner’s misbehaviour. Divorce isn’t always the best solution for long-term problems, but being emotionally strong and confident is. So, if you are being harassed by an ex who has anger management issues, or if you continue to harass prospective partners because of unresolved anger management issues in the past, you should seek anger management counselling. Based on my clinical experience, I can attest that there are many of you out there dealing with similar issues.
9) Sex
Being open about your sexual preferences will aid in your search for the ideal partner. Shyness can lead to sexual frustration, loneliness, and lack of fulfilment, as well as anger management issues and arguments that lead to relationship breakdown. Pay attention to distorted thinking and unrealistic expectations of yourself and others if you are incel and spend too much time on adult sites. On that note, seek counselling if you are unable to distinguish between the scripted artificial behaviour of adult site workers and an understanding of what healthy intimacy is.
10) Birds of Feather Flock Together
Make sure you find someone who shares your fundamental values, energy, and level of confidence. Some traditionalists will be surprised if a woman pays the bill at a restaurant, while others will be offended if a traditionalist treats a woman to a glass of wine or dinner, and still others will be surprised if a date wants to go Dutch. A confused person who treats a date to one drink and then labels her a gold digger will turn off a confident person who always pays her own bills aside from this one drink. If you don’t understand what I just said, you’re confused, and you should read this good book as a starting point to work through your confusion and become more grounded (Harvey, 2014). Sedentary people will frustrate highly energetic and active people, and independent people will feel burdened by people with dependency issues. Perfectionists despise slobs, and slobs despise perfectionists. Confident people want to thrive and live, whereas insecure people require ongoing attention. Consider spending your weekend watching the news while being politically right and your partner being politically left. Having worked with clients with anger management issues who held traditional values as well as progressive woke feminists, I discovered that similarities attract and differences drive people into severe violent domestic arguments. From a scientific standpoint, studies have been conducted that support my clinical experience that similarities do attract (Byrne and Glore, 1996).
11) Confused or Gold Diggers?
The crux of the problem is that you don’t know how to separate suitable dates from unsuitable ones. You have no idea how to date or make connections, and you tend to invite anyone on a date. Not surprisingly, by the end of the month, you’re left with empty pockets and anger management issues and with no prospective partner in sight. Good things come to those who wait. You could choose the right person and avoid becoming bitter due to constant online failure and anger management issues if you have high self-awareness and good dating skills.
12) Video Call to Verify Matches
How many times have you shown up for a date only to discover that the person was 10 – 20 years older and 22 pounds heavier? It happened to me once, and I was so traumatised by the man who, according to Google, stole photos of a famous Iraqi singer, that I will go out of my way to verify every potential date before I tear myself away from Netflix. “May Allah forgive you for being angry with me,” he said, to which I replied, “How about Allah forgiving you for being a liar?” Do I have anger management issues? Yes, under certain justifiable circumstances. On online dating sites, a blue tick indicates that a profile has been verified, implying that the person in the photos is real, but this is not the case. If relying on verified profiles was accurate, how could I have been talking to Brad Pitt and then Shrek showed up on a date with a bag full of pressies, attempting to bribe me into staying? That taught me a valuable lesson: there is a distinction to be made between deep-fake verified profiles and meeting someone on a video call. On the plus side, having the video call to verify your match will save you time and money in wasted taxis, as well as keep you from developing anger management issues and giving you plenty of Netflix and ice cream time.
13) The Right Pacing
Pacing is also important when it comes to dating. I invite you to consider how quickly you respond to and initiate messages. Forget about all the nonsense about playing hard and so on, and instead focus on what is going on between you and your match. Being out of tune and going too fast or too slowly, procrastination, ambivalence or moodiness that makes you lose enthusiasm for dating, or impatience are all speed factors that could push you to the bottom messages by rivals. In the end, it all comes down to a mutual connection and feeling it and then everything falls into place
Conclusion and Contact
Is there anything else I should mention? If so, please email me with the subject dating and anger management issues and a description of why you are upset about the dating scene. It will also be beneficial to hear other perspectives in order to incorporate them into future articles. For the time being, the aforementioned are just some of the factors that could contribute to you not doing it right when it comes to online dating, as well as areas where you could improve. Put the above tips to the test and send me an email to let me know how it goes. Remember that deep-seated anger management or confidence issues necessitate anger management counselling work, but does it work? Here are some reviews to help you get a sense of what it’s like to work with me:
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You can find more reviews on this site on the page REVIEWS. If you are interested in anger management counselling with me, please call or text Leona Sears 07505124933.